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Just turned down a date to a cosplay party to work on cosplay for ACen next week. ʘ‿ʘ
This is why I have no social life.
No seriously guys. This really is why I have no social life. I beg off on local events to work on cosplay all the time. I feel guilty whenever I’m not working on this stuff, unless I’m actually at work, so work and sewing alone in my apartment are all I do, um, pretty much ever.
Honestly… I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and after ACen, I’m probably not going to make large-scale costumes for, or compete at, Northern cons anymore.
I love you guys. I love spending time with you. Making costumes and cosplaying are the fucking best when I work on costumes with friends and we go to conventions together. It feels totally worth it when I get to hang out and go onstage with my amazing homegirls in their incredible costumes. But the rest of the time, when I work on costumes alone, at the expense of ever meeting or spending time with anyone who lives within several hundred miles of me, it really, really sucks. Having one weekend every couple of months be literally my entire social life is not healthy and I don’t think I can handle it anymore.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m really looking forward to ACen and I can’t wait for the awesome photoshoots and skit we have planned! I’ve worked my ass off on this stuff and we’re going to rock and it’s going to be a lot of fun! I’m still going to make costumes, but I’m going to try to focus on small and easy stuff instead of cranking every day like this. Maybe I just feel this way because I’ve made two fuckhuge costumes in a row. I don’t know. It’d probably be fine to compete up North in costumes I’ve already got done, but I don’t think I’d have a shot in the Master category with shit I don’t totally kill myself working on.
And I’m sorry to break my usual “no feelings on the internet” rule like this, because I HATE BEING A FUCKING DOWNER, but like, damn. I’m just super burned out and lonely lately and I need to do something about it.